At the end of March 2024, the gentle spring breeze fills the windows of the Gaozun Cultural Center, gently infusing the ink fragrance, sincere discussions, and nurturing warmth of the "Wisdom of Parenting" course into the hearts of every attending parent. During those six days (March 22-27), the notebooks on my desk were filled with philosophical ideas and practical methods for raising children. However, Mr. Tang Dingfeng, the dean of the Parent Child College, gave me a shocking insight into the deep connection between "how to raise a good child" and "what is the national situation of the family" - "When you want to get something, give it first. If your child is unwilling to go to school, take him to help those children who hope to go to school but cannot afford it.
When I first heard these words, the pen at my fingertips suddenly stopped. Before coming to class, my mind was filled with anxiety about "how to make my child obediently recite the package to school". I thought I could find an immediate set of "discipline techniques", but I didn't expect the teacher to lead the answer to a broader world of goodwill. At that moment, several spring swans heading north flew past the window, their wingtips still tinged with the coolness of morning mist, yet they flapped their wings neatly in the direction of the warm sun - this scene suddenly overlapped with Dean Tang's words: to return to the warm nest, spring swans must first cross the barrier of thousands of miles of mountains and seas; We also need to let go of the obsession of "asking him to change" and shift our focus from "what my child lacks" to "what I can do for others" in order to achieve a transformation in our child.
Previously, I was tossing and turning all night because of my child's aversion to learning: urging him to get up would make him lose his temper, he would hide in his room when he mentioned homework, and even say 'going to school is boring'. My mind is full of 'how to change him', but I have never thought from a different perspective - perhaps change should start with 'myself'. Dean Tang's words were like a precise key, gently unlocking the lock that had trapped my thinking: when we complain that our children don't cherish bright and clean classrooms, why not take them to see those eyes that long for books in the mountain valleys - those children may walk on muddy mountain roads for two hours before dawn, just to take a temporary lesson set up in a private house; I may hold the pencil tip until my fingertips turn white, and I am reluctant to throw away a piece of exercise paper that I have written. I may also wrap my textbook in several layers of paper shells for safekeeping. If I could take my child to help these peers who cannot afford to go to school: handing over a brand new dictionary, squatting down to teach him how to solve an arithmetic problem, or working with volunteers to repair the leaking roof of a dilapidated classroom - the child would suddenly understand through these concrete efforts that the "going to school" that they complain about every day is actually a luxury that many peers cannot hope for.
Isn't this the spirit hidden in the 'Chunhong Plan'? Chunhong flies over mountains and seas with hope, bringing warmth to every land in need; We should also connect with each other with kindness, allowing children to see themselves in the process of helping others. Just like a mother's sharing in class: she once took her son, who was resistant to going to school, to a remote elementary school as a small teaching assistant. She watched her son clumsily teach the children in the mountains how to fold paper cranes, and when the children in the mountains said with bright eyes, "I also want to go to a school in a big city and see high-rise buildings," her son suddenly held her hand quietly and whispered, "Mom, I want to go to school early tomorrow and bring my storybook to them to read. At that moment, without preaching or criticism, the warmth paid had quietly turned into a light in the child's heart - this light could illuminate his understanding of "going to school" and make him realize that reading is not just a task; It can also illuminate the most genuine goodwill between people, making them understand that being needed is more powerful than being satisfied.
Now thinking about it, Dean Tang's guidance has never been just about "how to raise children", but also contains a deep vein of "cultivating oneself, managing the family, governing the country, and pacifying the world". When we turn our small expectations for children into concrete actions to help unfamiliar children, we are actually quietly integrating the parenting confusion of "small families" into the care of "everyone's" family and country. Those children who cannot afford to go to school are not distant 'others', but the future seedlings connected to our bloodline on this land; Every helping hand we extend, every book we hand over, is watering the nutrients for the future of this land. Just like Chunhong, who doesn't just focus on returning to his home, but also guides his fallen companions, true parenting wisdom is never about "doing good to my family alone", but teaching children through dedication that personal growth is never isolated. You are closely connected to the people around you, the land under your feet, and the entire country, and warm to each other.